Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
