So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Of course I have a pirate flag
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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