So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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