Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
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I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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