I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
