there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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