do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize