Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
