i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
