so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
