Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
