Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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