That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
