Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize