why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
