she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
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I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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