My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
