I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
