Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
