Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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