Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
