see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize