He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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