She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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