his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
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Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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