how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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