is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
