Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
