How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
