I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
