You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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