the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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