but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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