drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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