i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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