was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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