Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
