i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
