Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im holly from the hills drunk
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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