There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
