Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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