We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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