We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
