It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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