She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
