Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
