All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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