She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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