I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
