I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
