if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
