this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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