Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
