I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
