Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How does it feel to date your dad?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
