Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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