I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
