i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
