i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
