I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
