I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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